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BOOK III: THE COMING OF THE LADY

RUPERT SENT LEGER'S JOURNAL.

April 3, 1907.

I have waited till now--well into midday--before beginning to set down anotar, assentar the details of the strange episode of last night. I have spoken

with persons whom I know to be of normal type. I have breakfasted, as usual heartily com vontade, and have every reason to consider myself in

perfect health and sanity. So that the record following may be

regarded as not only true in substance, but exact as to details. I have investigated and reported on too many cases for the Psychical

Research Society to be ignorant of the necessity for absolute

accuracy exactidão, precisão in such matters of even the minutest minúsculo, diminuto detail.

Yesterday was Tuesday, the second day of April, 1907. I passed a day of interest, with its fair amount of work of varying kinds. Aunt

Janet and I lunched together, had a stroll round the gardens after

tea—especially examining the site for the new Japanese garden, which we shall call "Janet's Garden." We went in mackintoshes, for the

rainy season is in its full, the only sign of its not being a repetition of the Deluge Dilúvio being that breaks in the continuance are

beginning. They are short at present but will doubtless enlarge

themselves as the season comes towards an end. We dined together at seven. After dinner I had a cigar, and then joined Aunt Janet for an hour in her drawing-room. I left her at half-past ten, when I went to my own room and wrote some letters. At ten minutes past eleven I wound my watch, so I know the time accurately de modo exacto, com precisão. Having prepared for bed, I drew back puxar the heavy curtain in front of my window, which opens on the marble steps into the Italian garden. I had put out apagar my light before drawing back the curtain, for I wanted to have a look at the scene panorama, vista (cena) before turning in deitar-se. Aunt Janet has always had an old-fashioned

idea of the need (or propriety, I hardly know which) of keeping

windows closed and curtains drawn. I am gradually getting her to

leave my room alone in this respect, but at present the change is in

its fitful incerto, irregular stage fase, período (estrado, palco), and of course I must not hurry matters or be too persistent, as it would hurt her feelings. This night was one of those under the old regime. It was a delight to look out, for the scene was perfect of its own kind. The long spell período, temporada (feitiço, bruxaria) of rain—the ceaseless downpour which had for the time flooded everywhere—had passed, and water in abnormal anormal, excepcional places rather trickled gotejar, pingar than ran. We

were now beginning to be in the sloppy lamacento, húmido rather than the deluged de dilúvio, de inundação stage.

There was plenty of light to see by, for the moon had begun to show

out fitfully irregularmente through the masses of flying clouds. The uncertain light made weird shadows with the shrubs and statues in the garden.

The long straight walk which leads from the marble steps is strewn cobrir (espalhar, juncar) with fine sand white from the quartz strand praia, margem de lago ou rio in the nook canto, recanto to the south of the Castle. Tall shrubs of white holly azevinho, yew teixo, juniper zimbro, cypress cipreste, and variegated maple ácer and spiraea espireia, which stood at intervals along the

walk and its branches, appeared ghost-like in the fitful incerto, irregular, caprichoso (fit-ataque, acesso, crise, desmaio) moonlight.

The many vases and statues and urns urna, always like phantoms in a halflight, were more than ever weird. Last night the moonlight was

unusually effective impressionante, com impacto, eficaz, and showed not only the gardens down to the

defending wall, but the deep gloom escuridão, trevas of the great forest-trees beyond; and beyond that, again, to where the mountain chain began, the forest running up their silvered slopes flamelike in form, deviated here and

there by great crags and the outcropping rocky sinews espinha dorsal of the vast mountains.

Whilst I was looking at this lovely prospect panorama, vista de paisagem, I thought I saw something white flit passar rapidamente, esvoaçar, like a modified atenuar, abrandar (ténue) white flash centelha, clarão, brilho, at odd ocasional, acidental, ímpar, isolado moments instante

from one to another of the shrubs or statues--anything which would

afford dar, conceder, proporcionar cover esconderijo from observation. At first I was not sure whether I

really saw anything or did not. This was in itself a little disturbing to me, for I have been so long trained to minute

observation of facts surrounding me, on which often depend not only my own life, but the lives of others, that I have become accustomed to trust my eyes; and anything creating the faintest doubt in this respect is a cause of more or less anxiety to me. Now, however, that my attention was called to myself, I looked more keenly intensamente, and in a

very short time was satisfied that something was moving--something

clad in white. It was natural enough that my thoughts should tend vigiar (cuidar de, tomar conta de) towards something uncanny--the belief that this place is haunted assombrado por fantasma, conveyed transmitir, comunicar in a thousand ways of speech discurso and inference insinuação, sugestão. Aunt Janet's

eerie misterioso, estranho, fantasmagórico beliefs, fortified by her books on occult subjects--and of late, in our isolation from the rest of the world, the subject of daily conversations--helped to this end. No wonder, then, that,

fully awake and with senses all on edge, I waited for some further

manifestation from this ghostly visitor--as in my mind I took it to be. It must surely be a ghost or spiritual manifestation of some

kind which moved in this silent way. In order to see and hear

better, I softly moved back the folding grille, opened the French

window, and stepped out, bare-footed and pyjama-clad as I was, on the

marble terrace. How cold the wet marble was! How heavy smelled the

rain-laden garden! It was as though the night and the damp, and even

the moonlight, were drawing the aroma from all the flowers that

blossomed. The whole night seemed to exhale heavy, half-intoxicating

odours! I stood at the head of the marble steps, and all immediately

before me was ghostly in the extreme--the white marble terrace and

steps, the white walks of quartz-sand glistening under the fitful irregular, incerto

moonlight; the shrubs of white or pale green or yellow,--all looking

dim indistinto, obscuro, sombrio and ghostly in the glamorous enfeitiçador, sedutor, atraente, fascinante light; the white statues and vases.

And amongst them, still flitting esvoaçar, passar rapidamente noiselessly, that mysterious elusive esquivo, elusivo figure which I could not say was based on fact or imagination. I held my breath, listening intently for every sound; but sound there was none, save those of the night and its denizens. Owls hooted in the forest; bats, taking advantage of the cessation of the rain,

flitted about silently, like shadows in the air. But there was no more sign of moving ghost or phantom, or whatever I had seen might have been--if, indeed, there had been anything except imagination.

So, after waiting awhile, I returned to my room, closed the window,

drew the grille across again, and dragged the heavy curtain before

the opening; then, having extinguished my candles, went to bed in the dark. In a few minutes I must have been asleep.

"What was that?" I almost heard the words of my own thought as I sat up in bed wide awake. To memory rather than present hearing the disturbing sound had seemed like the faint tapping at the window.

For some seconds I listened, mechanically but intently, with bated

breath and that quick beating of the heart which in a timorous tímido, receoso person speaks for fear, and for expectation in another. In the stillness the sound came again--this time a very, very faint but unmistakable tapping at the glass door.

I jumped up, drew back the curtain, and for a moment stood appalled.

There, outside on the balcony, in the now brilliant moonlight, stood

a woman, wrapped in white grave-clothes saturated with water, which dripped on the marble floor, making a pool which trickled slowly down the wet steps. Attitude and dress and circumstance all conveyed the idea that, though she moved and spoke, she was not quick activo, dinâmico, but dead.

She was young and very beautiful, but pale, like the grey pallor of death. Through the still quieto, tranquilo white of her face, which made her look as cold as the wet marble she stood on manter-se na mesma posição, her dark eyes seemed to gleam with a strange but enticing atraente, sedutor lustre brilho, refulgência (lust-desejo sexual, luxúria, ânsia, cobiça). Even in the unsearching vago, que não define moonlight, which is after all rather deceptive ilusório, enganador than illuminative, I could not but notice one rare quality of her eyes. Each had some quality of refraction which made it look as though it contained a star. At every movement she made, the stars exhibited new beauties,

of more rare and radiant force. She looked at me imploringly as the heavy curtain rolled back, and in eloquent gestures implored me to admit her. Instinctively I obeyed; I rolled back the steel grille, and threw open the French window. I noticed that she shivered and

trembled as the glass door fell open. Indeed, she seemed so overcome with cold as to seem almost unable to move. In the sense of her helplessness all idea of the strangeness of the situation entirely

disappeared. It was not as if my first idea of death taken from her

cerements mortalha was negatived. It was simply that I did not think of it at

all; I was content to accept things as they were--she was a woman, and in some dreadful trouble; that was enough.

I am thus particular circunstanciado, detalhado, meticuloso about my own emotions, as I may have to refer to

them again in matters of comprehension or comparison. The whole

thing is so vastly strange and abnormal anormal, fora do vulgar that the least menor, menos importante (little) thing may afterwards give some guiding light or clue to something otherwise not

understandable. I have always found that in recondite misterioso, oculto, abstruso, impenetrável matters first

impressions are of more real value than later conclusions. We humans place far too little reliance confiança on instinct as against reason; and yet instinct is the great gift of Nature to all animals for their

protection and the fulfilment cumprimento, realização, desempenho of their functions generally.

When I stepped out on the balcony, not thinking of my costume traje, vestuário, I

found that the woman was benumbed entorpecer, paralisar and hardly able to move. Even when I asked her to enter, and supplemented my words with gestures in case she should not understand my language, she stood stock-still imóvel, only

rocking slightly to and fro as though she had just strength enough

left to balance herself on her feet. I was afraid, from the condition in which she was, that she might drop down dead at any moment. So I took her by the hand to lead her in. But she seemed too weak to even make the attempt. When I pulled her slightly forward, thinking to help her, she tottered, and would have fallen

had I not caught her in my arms. Then, half lifting her, I moved her

forwards. Her feet, relieved of her weight, now seemed able to make the necessary effort; and so, I almost carrying her, we moved into the room. She was at the very end of her strength; I had to lift her

over the sill soleira da porta (parapeito da janela). In obedience to her motion, I closed the French window and bolted it. I supposed the warmth of the room—though cool, it was warmer than the damp air without--affected her quickly, for on the instant she seemed to begin to recover herself. In a few seconds, as though she had reacquired her strength, she herself pulled the heavy curtain across the window. This left us in

darkness, through which I heard her say in English: "Light. Get a light!" I found matches, and at once lit a candle. As the wick pavio, torcida, morrão, mecha flared, she moved over to the door of the room, and tried if the lock and bolt were fastened. Satisfied as to this, she moved towards me, her wet

shroud leaving a trail of moisture humidade on the green carpet. By this time the wax of the candle had melted sufficiently to let me see her clearly. She was shaking and quivering as though in an ague febre; she drew the wet shroud around her piteously tristemente, de maneira comovente. Instinctively I spoke:

"Can I do anything for you?" She answered, still in English, and in a voice of thrilling emocionante, arrebatador, almost piercing agudo, lancinante sweetness, which seemed somehow to go straight to my heart,and affected me strangely: "Give me warmth."

I hurried to the fireplace. It was empty; there was no fire laid. I turned to her, and said: "Wait just a few minutes here. I shall call someone, and get help--and fire."

Her voice seemed to ring with intensity as she answered without a pause:

"No, no! Rather would I be"--here she hesitated for an instant, but

as she caught sight of her cerements mortalha went on hurriedly--"as I am. I

trust you--not others; and you must not betray my trust." Almost instantly she fell into a frightful fit of shivering, drawing again her death-clothes close to her, so piteously that it wrung my heart. I suppose I am a practical man. At any rate pelo menos, de qualquer modo, I am accustomed to action. I took from its place beside my bed a thick Jaeger dressinggown roupão of dark brown--it was, of course, of extra length--and held it

out to her as I said:

"Put that on. It is the only warm thing here which would be suitable. Stay; you must remove that wet--wet"--I stumbled about for a word that would not be offensive--"that frock vestido--dress--costume--whatever it is." I pointed to where, in the corner of the room,

stood a chintzde chita-covered folding-screen which fences in my cold sponge bath banho com esponja, which is laid ready for me overnight, as I am an early riser.

She bowed gravely, and taking the dressing-gown in a long, white,

finely-shaped hand, bore it behind the screen. There was a slight rustle, and then a hollow "flop" as the wet garment fell on the floor; more rustling and rubbing, and a minute later she emerged

wrapped from head to foot in the long Jaeger garment, which trailed

on the floor behind her, though she was a tall woman. She was still

shivering painfully, however. I took a flask of brandy and a glass

from a cupboard, and offered her some; but with a motion of her hand she refused it, though she moaned grievously penosamente, dolorosamente.

"Oh, I am so cold--so cold!" Her teeth were chattering. I was pained at her sad condition, and said despairingly, for I was at my wits' end to know what to do:

"Tell me anything that I can do to help you, and I will do it. I may not call help; there is no fire--nothing to make it with; you will not take some brandy. What on earth can I do to give you warmth?"

Her answer certainly surprised me when it came, though it was

practical enough--so practical prático, realizável that I should not have dared to say it. She looked me straight in the face for a few seconds before

speaking. Then, with an air of girlish innocence which disarmed suspicion and convinced me at once of her simple faith, she said in a voice that at once thrilled me and evoked all my pity:

"Let me rest for a while, and cover me up with rugs. That may give

me warmth. I am dying of cold. And I have a deadly fear upon me--a

deadly fear. Sit by me, and let me hold your hand. You are big and

strong, and you look brave. It will reassure tranquilizar, encorajar me. I am not myself a coward, but to-night fear has got me by the throat. I can hardly

breathe. Do let me stay till I am warm. If you only knew what I have gone through, and have to go through still, I am sure you would pity me and help me."

To say that I was astonished would be a mild suave description of my feelings. I was not shocked. The life which I have led was not one

which makes for prudery beatice, puritanismo. To travel in strange places amongst strange peoples with strange views of their own is to have odd experiences and peculiar adventures now and again; a man without human passions

is not the type necessary for an adventurous life, such as I myself have had. But even a man of passions and experiences can, when he respects a woman, be shocked—even prudish beato, puritano--where his own opinion of her is concerned. Such must bring to her guarding any generosity which he has, and any self-restraint also. Even should she place

herself in a doubtful position, her honour calls to his honour. This

is a call which may not be--MUST not be--unanswered. Even passion must pause for at least a while at sound of such a trumpet-call.

This woman I did respect--much respect. Her youth and beauty; her manifest ignorance of evil; her superb disdain of convention, which could only come through hereditary dignity; her terrible fear and suffering--for there must be more in her unhappy condition than meets the eye--would all demand respect, even if one did not hasten apressar-se to yield consentir, submeter-se it. Nevertheless todavia, contudo, I thought it necessary to enter a protest against her embarrassing suggestion. I certainly did feel a fool when making it, also a cad malandro, canalha (criado, auxiliar). I can truly say it was made only for her good, and out of the best of me, such as I am. I felt impossibly awkward; and stuttered gaguejar and stumbled falar de maneira hesitante, gaguejar before I spoke:

"But surely--the convenances! Your being here alone at night! Mrs. Grundy puritano??--convention--the--"

She interrupted me with an incomparable dignity--a dignity which had

the effect of shutting me up like a clasp-knife navalha de mola and making me feel a decided nítido, evidente inferior--and a poor show at that. There was such a gracious simplicity and honesty in it, too, such self-respecting knowledge of

herself and her position, that I could be neither angry nor hurt. I could only feel ashamed of myself, and of my own littleness of mind

and morals. She seemed in her icy coldness--now spiritual as well as bodily materialmente--like an incarnate figure of Pride as she answered: "What are convenances or conventions to me! If you only knew where I

have come from--the existence (if it can be called so) which I have

had--the loneliness--the horror! And besides, it is for me to MAKE fazer, realizar

conventions, not to yield submeter my personal freedom of action to them.

Even as I am--even here and in this garb traje, maneira de vestir--I am above convention.

Convenances do not trouble me or hamper embaraçar, dificultar me. That, at least, I have won by what I have gone through, even if it had never come to me

through any other way. Let me stay." She said the last words, in

spite of all her pride, appealingly suplicantemente. But still, there was a note of

high pride in all this--in all she said and did, in her attitude and movement, in the tones tom de voz of her voice, in the loftiness ar superior of her carriage atitude, procedimento and the steadfast resoluto, firme look of her open, starlit eyes. Altogether no geral, there was something so rarely lofty nobre, majestoso, sublime in herself and all that clad her that,

face to face with it and with her, my feeble fraco, débil attempt at moral

precaution seemed puny insignificante, fraco, ridiculous, and out of place. Without a word in the doing, I took from an old chiffonier armário baixo, cómoda chest an armful of blankets, several of which I threw over her as she lay, for in the

meantime, having replaced the coverlet colcha, she had lain down at length on the bed. I took a chair, and sat down beside her. When she stretched out her hand from beneath the pile of wraps, I took it in

mine, saying:

"Get warm and rest. Sleep if you can. You need not fear; I shall

guard you with my life."

She looked at me gratefully, her starry eyes taking a new light more full of illumination than was afforded dar, proporcionar by the wax candle, which was

shaded from her by my body . . . She was horribly cold, and her teeth chattered so violently that I feared lest she should have incurred some dangerous evil from her wetting and the cold that followed it.

I felt, however, so awkward that I could find no words to express my fears; moreover, I hardly dared say anything at all regarding herself after the haughty way in which she had received my well-meant

protest. Manifestly I was but to her as a sort of refuge and provider of heat, altogether impersonal, and not to be regarded in any degree as an individual. In these humiliating circumstances what

could I do but sit quiet--and wait developments?

Little by little the fierce chattering of her teeth began to abate as

the warmth of her surroundings stole through her. I also felt, even in this strangely awakening acordado position, the influence of the quiet; and sleep began to steal deslocar-se furtivamente over me. Several times I tried to fend it off desviar-se de, esquivar-se a, but, as I could not make any overt manifesto, claro, notório movement without alarming my strange and beautiful companion, I had to yield myself to drowsiness. I was still in such an overwhelming esmagador, avassalador stupor of surprise that I could not even think freely. There was nothing for me but to control myself and wait. Before I could well fix my thoughts I was asleep.

I was recalled to consciousness by hearing, even through the pall manto, cobertura of

sleep that bound me, the crowing of a cock in some of the out-offices parte da casa destinada ao pessoal e serviços domésticos (no plural)

of the castle. At the same instant the figure, lying deathly still

but for the gentle heaving of her bosom, began to struggle wildly.

The sound had won through the gates of her sleep also. With a swift,

gliding motion she slipped from the bed to the floor, saying in a

fierce whisper as she pulled herself up to her full height:

"Let me out! I must go! I must go!"

By this time I was fully awake, and the whole position of things came

to me in an instant which I shall never--can never--forget: the dim light of the candle, now nearly burned down to the socket cavidade, bocal, all the

dimmer regulador da intensidade da luz from the fact that the first grey gleam of morning was stealing in round the edges of the heavy curtain; the tall, slim elegante, delgado figure in the brown dressing-gown whose over-length trailed on the floor, the black hair showing glossy in the light, and increasing by contrast the marble whiteness of the face, in which the black eyes

sent through their stars fiery gleams. She appeared quite in a

frenzy of haste; her eagerness ansiedade impaciência was simply irresistible.

I was so stupefied with amazement, as well as with sleep, that I did

not attempt to stop her, but began instinctively to help her by furthering favorecer, facilitar, apoiar her wishes. As she ran behind the screen, and, as far as

sound could inform me,--began frantically to disrobe herself of the

warm dressing-gown and to don vestir, pôr again the ice-cold wet shroud, I pulled back the curtain from the window, and drew the bolt of the glass door. As I did so she was already behind me, shivering. As I threw

open the door she glided deslizar out with a swift silent movement, but trembling in an agonized way. As she passed me, she murmured in a low voice, which was almost lost in the chattering of her teeth:

"Oh, thank you--thank you a thousand times! But I must go. I MUST!

I MUST! I shall come again, and try to show my gratitude. Do not

condemn me as ungrateful--till then." And she was gone.

I watched her pass the length of the white path, flitting passar rapidamente, esvoaçar from shrub to shrub or statue as she had come. In the cold grey light of the undeveloped dawn she seemed even more ghostly than she had done in the black shadow of the night.

When she disappeared from sight in the shadow of the wood, I stood on

the terrace for a long time watching, in case I should be afforded

another glimpse of her, for there was now no doubt in my mind that

she had for me some strange attraction. I felt even then that the

look in those glorious starry eyes would be with me always so long as I might live. There was some fascination which went deeper than my eyes or my flesh or my heart--down deep into the very depths of my

soul. My mind was all in a whirl, so that I could hardly think coherently. It all was like a dream; the reality seemed far away.

It was not possible to doubt that the phantom figure which had been

so close to me during the dark hours of the night was actual verdadeiro flesh and blood. Yet she was so cold, so cold! Altogether I could not fix

my mind to either proposition: that it was a living woman who had

held my hand, or a dead body reanimated for the time or the occasion in some strange manner.

The difficulty was too great for me to make up my mind upon it, even

had I wanted to. But, in any case, I did not want to. This would, no doubt, come in time. But till then I wished to dream on, as anyone does in a dream which can still be blissful ditoso, feliz, bem-aventurado though there be

pauses of pain, or ghastliness, or doubt, or terror.

So I closed the window and drew the curtain again, feeling for the

first time the cold in which I had stood on the wet marble floor of

the terrace when my bare feet began to get warm on the soft carpet.

To get rid of the chill feeling I got into the bed on which SHE had

lain, and as the warmth restored me tried to think coherently. For a

short while I was going over rever, recapitular the facts of the night--or what seemed as facts to my remembrance. But as I continued to think, the

possibilities of any result seemed to get less, and I found myself vainly trying to reconcile with the logic of life the grim sinistro episode of the night. The effort proved to be too much for such concentration as was left to me; moreover além disso, interrupted interrompido sleep was clamant urgente, and would not be denied. What I dreamt of--if I dreamt at all--I know not. I only know that I was ready for waking when the time came. It came with a violent knocking at my door. I sprang from bed, fully awake in a second, drew the bolt, and slipped back to bed. With a hurried "May I come in?" Aunt Janet entered. She seemed relieved when she

saw me, and gave without my asking an explanation of her

perturbation:

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